If you’re interested in cock and ball torture and your partner is into cognitive behavioral therapy you’re having two very different conversations.Īrguably some of the most useful pieces of Yes/No/Maybe Lists are their lists of activities and terms, and although mine is extensive, it is by no means exhaustive, so I encourage you to write in your own. Don’t only discuss what you want to do, also discuss what the words you’re using mean. ![]() Instead I usually prefer to have negotiation conversations like these in coffee shops or during long car rides. I also recognize that I am in the minority of folks who find spreadsheets sexy and I don’t expect you to fill out you Yes/No/Maybe Lists in your finest lingerie. It can be revisited often, as people’s preferences can fluctuate, and it’s a fun way to get new ideas and reflect on your own desires. ![]() Your Yes/No/Maybe List is a tool to use in an ongoing conversation about all the sexy things you want to do together. Your Yes/No/Maybe List is not a contract, it’s not consent, and it’s not set in stone. The goal here is to focus on the things you can do together and not dwell on the nos, You should NEVER try to talk someone out of their no or expect them to explain it to you, though they may choose to. Then the partners reconvene and discuss where their yesses overlap. and sorts each one into one of three columns: Yes, No, or Maybe. It’s simple, each person involved in the negotiation takes a list of activities/terms/food items etc. We've also added another list for folks that have not so vanilla interests or want to add kinkier sexual acts to their sexual adventure.A Yes/No/Maybe list is a common tool in kink circles for negotiating scenes, but really, you could use it to negotiate… pretty much anything. A little naughty housekeeper roleplay perhaps? The possibilities are endless. Better communication in any situation always leads to better sex. Although, we do recommend doing that as well. Go ahead and try it! It's way more fun than, say, negotiating and delegating household chores. Sex date (which incidentally is not actually a date in which you have sex) but one to get together and talk about your sexual interests, what your ideal sex life looks like, and the sex you might want to have without shaming or judging one another. We suggest each partner take a ynm list and fill it out separately, then get together on a It also leads to having safer sex, and better sex. ![]() Having a sexual inventory checklist for things you find exciting, things you may want to try, and things you definitely will not do helps create boundaries and self-respect, but it is also a great conversation starter and a non physical way to express sexual feelings with a new partner. No, represents activities that are completely off limits for you. Maybe, suggests certain acts that interest you, but you aren't so sure. Yes/No/Maybe List is a tool we use here in the store to help partners get the conversation started as they work out their sexual desires with each other. It's a list of sex acts (to which you can always add your own) and columns reading "Yes", "No" and "Maybe." Yes, are activities you are totally in for. Setting Body Boundaries with Your Sexual Partners Want to call your partner a filthy manwhore while working his nipples like a stuck zipper in a urinal at Mardi Gras? Yeah, definitely negotiate. See a pattern here? Negotiate every sex act with your partner(s) before exploring your sexual fantasies with them. Want to be tied up or tie someone up? Negotiate. Total surprises in bed are generally frowned upon, at least when it comes to a new and/or exotic sexual activities. Surprises can be stone cold delightful, like free ice cream or finding a forgotten $20 in your jeans.īut there's one place where surprises can be disastrous: the bedroom.
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